I wish I looked less like my Mum
She is bossy and evil and cruel
Her hair is scraped back
And looks hard as shellac
And she likes to pretend she’s a fool.

But alas she stares out of my eyes
When I look in the mirror at night
I’ve got her big ears
which just adds to my fears
That I’m not going to turn out all right.

I am fat in the same way she’s fat
With a large scary wobbly bum
And a chest to rest beer on
I’m no Charlize Theron
Though I hate it I’m just like my Mum.

copyright bla bla bla - I will enforce it with big scary lawyers.