Poetry to make you smile and maybe laugh

I went along to the forum
The forumites to greet,

The forumites just gave me pain
So I left and never went back again.

I’ve a bijou rustic building that I usually call the shed,
It nestles at the bottom of my lawn,
So it has a rural setting
‘twixt the grass and compost heap
And can look a proper treat at early dawn.

Shamefully unregarded this jewel of the sod,
Its value more than diamonds and pearls,
I only just discovered how to let it shine at last
Follow closely as I share this with the world.

I write a little advert for my sweet rustic retreat
And place it where most people come to look,
When the Carnoustie Open Golf begins
Then there I’ll be online
For American millionaire golfers to find and book.

They’ll be overwhelmed by its quaintness and its charm
And the three thousand quid I’ll get won’t do me any harm.

I was just browsing on a property rental website called LetaLife.com and found the Carnoustie page of rental adverts.

I was amazed to find houses going for thousands of pounds a week for the duration of the Carnoustie Open Golf Championship

It prompted this poem - I hope you like it.

I took care of my baby
I kept him safe from harm
I washed him, fed him, changed him
He never felt alarm.

Now he is a teenager
All he does is moan,
No sign of him achieving
A life all of his own.

He still wants me to feed him,
With pizza now and chips,
In order to get him to have a bath
It takes threats involving whips.

(it does too it’s not just a good rhyme)

I thought things would get easier
It’s tough being a Mum
I suppose I should be thankful
He can manage to wipe his own bum.

I have realised that the first few poems that a visitor might see on landing on this blog are not exactly my finest to say the least.

So a quick explanation might be in order.

I had decided to stop writing poetry following a crisis of confidence in January after a creative writing course that made me feel rather deflated.

I subsequently woke up one morning with the phrase

'Poetry is not an art it's a symptom' going round in my head, which further added to the poetry blockage.

But the urge to splurge has stayed with me. Unfortunately, like other creative things for me - I need to be lost entirely in the 'fun' and mischief of the thing for it to work  and I am still a tad self conscious at the moment.

The only way to get rid of that is to just keep at it regardless.

Those of you new to this blog will probably find the earlier stuff is therefore better and funnier as it was before I got intellectually ambushed.

So have a look at the archives - trust me - I used to be much funnier - and one day I will be again - but for the meantime I will just keep at it and hopefully I'll get past the barrier and start improving again.

My personal favorites are Get Real  a more realistic take on the Cinderella story, What the Music Teacher Really Thinks and Sincere Remorse to My Teacher Mrs Threadgold 

Hope you enjoy them -