Inspired by the comments sections of the Daily Mail Newspaper


Ding dongs merrily on high
with coins in wallets clinking
The ding dongs never even try
to tax their brains with thinking

with no sense prevailing, social workers failing, civil servants mailing secret lists,
The UK's finally sinking.

Elf & Safety Rule our lives
without them we'd be doing
things like juggling with knives
followed by years of sueing

councils not performing, drunken yobboes storming through our previously quiet lands,
we know that trouble's brewing.

Don't stop a bobby for the time
because he's busy dogging
he's oblivious to crime
he's having more fun snogging

The streets are cold and dirty, too risky past 5.30, if there's a murder simply phone it in
they'll note it in call logging.

Santa flying in his sleigh
with gifts for friends and neighbours
decides he's calling it a day
he's been bitten by a dog called Sabre

The presents undelivered, kiddies lips aquiver, this is xmas in the great UK
Many thanks nu labour.