It's getting warm in Britain so please try and take care
it's time to put your feet on ice and freeze your underwear.
You can't leave your windows open or the burglars might get in.
You can't go out to feel the breeze in case you burn your skin.

Be careful with your children the sun will fry them crispy
their eyes will boil in their sockets and their hair will go all wispy.
But the wonderful GOVERNMENT will save you, you need have no fear
they've done their research and found out this happens every year!

They've put together helpful hints to help you to survive
Thank GOD and bless them for it else how could you stay alive?
For staying in the shade and drinking lots to rehydrate
are ideas so fiendishly clever you'd need brains like William Gates.

So sing and dance but not too much because you'll get too hot
and praise the heaven that sent it for the government you've got.