Funny poems written by Banana_the_poet. This funny poetry blog is filled with original poems to bring a touch of humour to those who take the time to read them. I avoid 'sloppy' poetry and strong language as I just don't find those things very inspiring or funny.
But I hope these offerings will be funny enough to keep people coming back for more. I once tried stand up comedy and although the audience laughed at the right moments - I didn't enjoy feeling like I was about to have a heart attack at any moment. So I decided to put my creative comedy stuff into poems instead. Hope you like at least one of them!
Some people who are certain if there is or isn't God
have always struck me firmly as being rather odd
because instead of being comfortable with whatever they believe
they focus on making the opposite view their very favourite peeve.
I wonder what it is about being so convinced
that's so unsatisfying unless the opposition's minced
into tiny pieces of sobbing defeated mess?
What they get from this is anybody's guess.
Now here's the basic tenet which underpins my philosophy,
believe or don't in whatever you want and let the other fellow be.
Michele Brenton aka banana_the_poet 31 December 2011
I'm giving away a nice LONG ebook over the Christmas holiday period.
It has images, some black and white and some colour, over 200 poems, a true story about when my family towed a powerboat over the Alps and a short festive fictional story. So what better way to put your new ereader through its paces?
Kindle provide software to enable you to download and read this free book on a variety of devices.
So if you want a free book to read over Christmas on your iPad, iPhone, Android, Windows PC, Apple Mac or other ereading device look no further.
Here's the link to the facebook page where you can get the links to whichever Amazon Kindle site you need :
Oh just thought I'd better tell you the title of the book in case you'd prefer to find it on Kindle yourself:
Banana's Bumper Xmas Book by Michele Brenton
Canned Humour - a poem about being made redundant. Sometimes you have to laugh or you'd cry. Lots of love to everyone on Christmas Eve and here's hoping 2012 will be a good year for us all. XX
This is one of the first animated cartoons I attempted. I am limited by the package as to how many people can speak and the actions they can carry out. I think this was moderately successful as an adaptation of my poem Mr Badshock.
This is an animated version of my poem - Get Real: a modern take on the Cinderella story in which the well-meaning Fairy Godmother finds the tables turned as she gets the makeover instead!
This is adapted from the original version I wrote as follows: Get Real!
My name’s Cinderella;
my mates call me Cin.
I’m fashionably scruffy and trendily thin.
I’ve got gorgeous skin
(it’s so good to be young)
a stud in my nose
and one more on my tongue.
Don’t want a boyfriend
tying me down.
I want a career
not a castle and crown.
I’ll tell you my story
(go on, take a chair)
it’s worth hearing trust me;
I know, I was there.
I was in the kitchen alone
late at night
when a noise from the scullery
gave me a fright.
I opened the door and saw
in that room
an ancient old hag
speaking out of the gloom.
“I'm your Fairy Godmother.”
Yes, it was she
walking into the kitchen
and talking to me.
“I have come to make sure
that you go to the ball,”
and she waggled her wand
at a hole in the wall.
She waggled it once,
waggled it twice,
sniffed and said sharply,
“There ought to be mice.”
“Mice in this kitchen!
No chance. No way.
There aren't even germs
thanks to anti-bac spray!”
“Oh never mind -
I’ll improve on your clothes
and I’ll soon heal up that thing
in your nose.
“Highlights in your hair
and a few well placed curls;
should result in you being
the cutest of girls.”
“Excuse me! Whatever?
Do I count at all?
No-one’s asked me
if I want to go to this ball.”
“But The Prince will be there
to make you his bride.”
“Stay there while I run
to Bermuda to hide.”
“But I don’t understand,
I’ve been thrown for a loop.
I brought this great pumpkin.”
“Great, make pumpkin soup.”
“I had planned glass slippers,
silk gloves and a hat.”
“I’d rather be dead
than be seen wearing that.”
Well after a talk
she at last saw the light.
As *F. godmothers go
she wasn’t too bright.
I suggested she watch
some cable t.v.
then took her to concerts
and clubbing with me.
F.G ditched her wings
and got a jet;
lost lots of weight
but better yet,
she got a boyfriend - name of Vince.
Yup, you guessed it. He’s the Prince.
Princey’s happy with dear F.G.
I’m ecstatic just being me.
*F. - fairy G. - godmother.
appears in Alternative Poetry Books - Pink edition by Michele Brenton aka banana_the_poet
I send these words to all of you
and hope they find you hale and well
and if not that then on the mend
and with a hopeful tale to tell.
I wish you days of fun and love,
fond leisure, all unrushable
and may all the crap you have to deal with
be entirely flushable.
So snuggle down, keep toasty warm
eat, drink and please be merry
and spare a thought for those worse off
like the little Christmas Fairy
who has a tree shoved up her skirt
be honest that has got to hurt.
As a gift from me here's my Top Ten bestselling Pink Kindle Poetry Book to download Free from Kindle - limited time offer - will go back to costing money on Sunday 18th December.
